Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
