is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
