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• (352): View more from Florida

  So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We need to hang out more often

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Sounds like a really classy character....

  (478): View more from Georgia

  He is classy. It was argyle.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now

  (310): View more from California

  Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...

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• (425): View more from Washington

  My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.

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• (916): View more from California

  my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!

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• (210): View more from Texas

  please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Aw.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.

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• (213): View more from California

  Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.

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