I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
