I think im going to throw up on grandma
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
