Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
