yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
