I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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