I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
