i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
