I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it's like iHOP with fire
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
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You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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