i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
