you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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