didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
