bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
