at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
