woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
