I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
