when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
