Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i think my cat just said my name.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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