Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
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Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
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Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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