wake up i wanna do it froggy style
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
