Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
