he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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