I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
