Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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