Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
