Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
