He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
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