Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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40s are totally the cure
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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