i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize