I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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