you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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