ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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