Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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