There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
