this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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