ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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