You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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