let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
