You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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