I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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