Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You can't just leave with hair like that
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
