someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
