Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
