well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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