dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He did a backflip because drugs
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