I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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