i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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