he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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