this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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