Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
