Your face is a jimmy john
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
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While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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