Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad