I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.