How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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