I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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