mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
