He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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