i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
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He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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