you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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