TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
