I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
