I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
